Thursday, December 22, 2011
Feeling Sad About Endings....
I have been sad for the last couple of days. Sadder than usual. I am so afraid of leaving my babies without a Mommy. I look at Katie's sweet face while she sleeps and I can't stop the tears. She is so beautiful so perfect....my baby. I want to be there for her...I want to kiss her beautiful face. And my Jack...my sweet tousseled hair boy. I love both of them so much! I was driving and thinking about trading our Jeep Grand Cherokee in in March (since the Jeep Commander will be paid off by then) and I couldn't help but think about when we bought our Cherokee. Jack was just 5 months old. We were so happy. He was just a little baby boy....can I let that car go....I associate that car with such a happy special time. We were living in the house in Delaware with aour beautiful baby boy....and we were so happy. Please, please let me stay with my family for many years...I want more memories...please.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Mama's Got New Shoes!
My sweet little pumpkin squirt and I were shopping in Target today and she grabbed a pair of ruby red sparkly glitter shoes. She loved them (and she usually shows very little interest in clothes.) So, what was a mother to do but to buy these shoes for her! We got home and she put on her new sparkly red shoes and headed upstairs. I put some things away and then headed up to see what she was doing.
I saw her walk into her brother's room and pull the door closed behind her. The door ddin't shut completely so I could see inside the room and hear her...but she didn't realize that I was there.
Inside she had all of her dolls lined up sitting against the base of Jack's bunkbed. She walked into the room and said, "Mama's got new shoes!" Showing her dolls her new shoes. It was the most precious thing I have ever seen. I love that sweet little girl so much. Thank you God for trusting me with her....I love her so very much!
I saw her walk into her brother's room and pull the door closed behind her. The door ddin't shut completely so I could see inside the room and hear her...but she didn't realize that I was there.
Inside she had all of her dolls lined up sitting against the base of Jack's bunkbed. She walked into the room and said, "Mama's got new shoes!" Showing her dolls her new shoes. It was the most precious thing I have ever seen. I love that sweet little girl so much. Thank you God for trusting me with her....I love her so very much!
Monday, January 10, 2011
She Broke Her Mommy's Heart!
I must always remember that my sweet strong little baby girl who does her best to make everyone believe that she is strong an unaffected by everything is welling deep with emotion. I love her so much. But sometimes she is so stubborn and she does not respond to standard tried and true parenting methods... I am making note of this incident so that I always remember the depth of feeling that this child hides behind her walls.
Yesterday while working together on drawing letters and saying the letters in a preschool book, she got upset. (She gets very embarrassed when she thinks she has made a mistake and then she wants to quit. In this case, we had been moving along nicely and she was actually working with me on writing the letters, saying them and then talking about the sounds that they make. (This is usually something that I cannot get her to do as she has no interest in it...or is embarrassed because she doesn't know the letters.)
At one point she refused to write the letter and closed the book. I wanted her to finish the letter that we were working on and then told her we would stop (I don't want to end on a bad note.) She started to get upset...so I said that I was done helping her for now if she was going to act like that and I left the third floor playroom.
A few minutes later I heard her come down the stairs (I figured that she was on to something else..playing with a toy, etc.) But then I heard a soft little whimper (she didn't know I was out in the hall) and I heard her crying...and then I heard her in her softest little voice say, "she doesn't love me anymore." and my heart broke.
I rushed in to get that sweet little baby with the strong outer shell and hugged her and told her that her mommy would love her forever and ever and that a Mommy's love never goes away....NEVER, EVER NO MAATER WHAT! I have cried about this for hours. I cannot believe that my sweet baby thought that I might not love her...I cannot believe that our little tough girl is bubbling with emotion iside her sweet little self. )Sometimes I feel that she doesn't love us as much as other children love their parents...but I KNOW that is not true.) Please God help me to remember that this little girl is full of feelings and help me be a good Mommy to her. I love her so very much.
Baby girl, if you read this someday...please know that your Mommy loves you more than anything in the world and nothing that you or anyone else can do will EVER change that. (I am crying as I type this. You are one of the beautiful lights of my life. Thank you Baby Girl for being mine.
Yesterday while working together on drawing letters and saying the letters in a preschool book, she got upset. (She gets very embarrassed when she thinks she has made a mistake and then she wants to quit. In this case, we had been moving along nicely and she was actually working with me on writing the letters, saying them and then talking about the sounds that they make. (This is usually something that I cannot get her to do as she has no interest in it...or is embarrassed because she doesn't know the letters.)
At one point she refused to write the letter and closed the book. I wanted her to finish the letter that we were working on and then told her we would stop (I don't want to end on a bad note.) She started to get upset...so I said that I was done helping her for now if she was going to act like that and I left the third floor playroom.
A few minutes later I heard her come down the stairs (I figured that she was on to something else..playing with a toy, etc.) But then I heard a soft little whimper (she didn't know I was out in the hall) and I heard her crying...and then I heard her in her softest little voice say, "she doesn't love me anymore." and my heart broke.
I rushed in to get that sweet little baby with the strong outer shell and hugged her and told her that her mommy would love her forever and ever and that a Mommy's love never goes away....NEVER, EVER NO MAATER WHAT! I have cried about this for hours. I cannot believe that my sweet baby thought that I might not love her...I cannot believe that our little tough girl is bubbling with emotion iside her sweet little self. )Sometimes I feel that she doesn't love us as much as other children love their parents...but I KNOW that is not true.) Please God help me to remember that this little girl is full of feelings and help me be a good Mommy to her. I love her so very much.
Baby girl, if you read this someday...please know that your Mommy loves you more than anything in the world and nothing that you or anyone else can do will EVER change that. (I am crying as I type this. You are one of the beautiful lights of my life. Thank you Baby Girl for being mine.
Friday, January 7, 2011
A Morning Funny From Jack & Katie.
The day after Christmas...Jack & Katie are playing together on our bed amongst all of the many pillows and blankets. They are rolling around and pillows are flying.
Jack: "We're playing Princess & the Pea!"
Muffled and from under the large pile of pillows upon which Jack seems to have his body thrown over:
Katie: "Jack, I don't want to be the pea anymore."
Jack: "We're playing Princess & the Pea!"
Muffled and from under the large pile of pillows upon which Jack seems to have his body thrown over:
Katie: "Jack, I don't want to be the pea anymore."
Sunday, January 2, 2011
A Recap of 2010
A Summary of 2010 *
*January -- There was swim team practice four times a week, ballet classes, piano lessons & Kumon. Got Mom a remote start installed in her car for her birthday, Katie's 3 year check up (36 1/2" tall 28lbs), was a reading helper for the First Grade Class on the 26th, and hosted a Pirate Party for Jack's 7th birthday (the whole First Grade Class attended) and the "pirate" never showed up.
* February -- Parent-Teacher Conference with the First Grade Teacher who said she wouldn't have known that Jack was gifted but for the test results she had seen (UGH!). We start looking into catholic schools for the 2010/2011 school year. Went to Disney World with Paul's parents--wet & cold most of the trip but had a great time. Continued swim team practices, ballet, Kumon & piano lessons, Paul worked the swim meet on February 20th. Jack had his 7 year check up (501/2" tall and weighed 59lbs). The kids attended birthday parties for Andrew, Trent & Gayatre.
* March -- Swim team ends for the season, ballet, piano lessons, and Kumon continue. Jack leads the pledge of allegiance over the school announcements on the 8th. We visit St. Andrews' School, Jack has multiple dentist appointments to correct dental issues that were not discovered by his first dentist. I turn 46. Surprised the kids (didn't tell them until we picked them up from school with the suitcases in the car) and drove to Disney World for 4 days over Easter weekend on the spur of the moment. (One of the most memorable trips ever...for everyone.)
* April -- More dental work for Jack (poor kid). More birthday parties for friends (Carson Dunagan, Jack Learner, Hayden Garrett.) Attended Amanda & Gil's Wedding Reception (they went to Vegas and got married on the 17th) Visit St Agatha School. Katie starts Gymnastics. Baseball begins—Jack plays, Paul coaches. Took Grandma to the Maple Festival (signs of Alzheimer's becoming apparent.) We begin regular twice a month board meetings for PetPromise.
* May -- Golf classes for Jack begin, Baseball continues as does Ballet, Gymnastics, Kumon & Piano lessons. PSR (Public School Religion) Classes conclude for the 2009/2010 school year. Decide that parochial schools will not offer the academic challenge that Jack will need. Decide to stay in the Upper Arlington School system and pray that the next year will be better. Attended a Mother's Day Tea with Jack's First Grade Class where he announces that the funniest thing about me is that I stay up all night on the computer and that I watch "What Not To Wear" all of the time. Attend the Montessori Spring Fest on the 15th where Katie wins a raffle and Jack does not (Jack is crushed— Katie shares her basket.) I am a Reading Helper for the First Grade Class on the 18th. We join the Swim & Racquet Club. Jack starts summer swim team practice. We attend Katie's first Montessori School End-of-Year Picnic concluding her first year of preschool. I appear on WSYX with Precious, Princess, & Angel to plug the PetPromise Rescue Run. The 10th Annual PetPromise Rescue Run goes without a hitch on the 29th and we raise over $44,000 for homeless pets. Katie participates in her first Ballet recital on May 30th. (So sweet!) Whew...the Carson's were tired after the month of May!
* June -- Katie attends a Princess camp June 1-4th. Baseball, Swim Team, Gymnastics, Ballet, Kumon & Piano continue. Jack starts Dive Team and Katie participates in a Toddler's Golf Camp and starts swim lessons at Swim & Racquet. The first screening of Eroded takes place on the 5th and we see Jack on the big screen for the first time. WOW! First Grade is officially over for Jack on the 9th. Katie attends Gigi's & Sophia's birthday parties. Jack participates in Lacrosse Camp from June 14-16th and Jack & Katie start Tennis lessons at Swim & Racquet on June 21st. We attend lots of swim and dive meets throughout the month and spend lots of time at Swim & Racquet for lessons or practice. We attend Jack & Katie's piano recital on June 26th. (Katie's first recital). Jack plays "In My Red Convertible" and Katie plays "Hot Crossed Buns."
*July -- Swim Team and Dive team practices, Swim Lessons, Tennis Lessons, Kumon (for Jack), Piano Lessons, Ballet (for Katie), Gymnastics (for Katie) and Kumon (for Jack continue). Lots of time spent at swim meets and dive meets at local pools. Jack is back at the dentist and starts Golf Camp on July 12th. We refinance the house on July 13th (for a rate of 5 1/4% on a Jumbo Loan). We go to Disney World from July 23rd through July 31st with Jana & her family. Stayed at the Boardwalk—Club level...really nice! Unusually Hot in Florida this trip.
* August -- Celebrated Paul's 58th Birthday on August 5th. Swim & Dive Team over....Tennis Lessons finished. Continue Kumon, Ballet, Piano, & Gymnastics. Have the kids' annual portraits taken at Celebrity Kids. (They are beautiful). School supply sale & school pictures on the 20th (that is insane—it is still summer!) Jack meets his 2nd Grade teacher, Ms. Ruf –Room 112 on August 23rd (love her!) School starts August 24th. Welcome to Second Grade, Jack.
* September -- Katie starts her second year of preschool at Montessori Children's House (seems happier this year). I attend parent Information night with Ms. Ruf...it's going to be a good year! Gymnastics, Piano, Kumon & Ballet continue. Jack starts Karate. PSR classes begin. Jack prepares for First Communion this year. Settling into the 2010/2011 school year.
*October -- Ballet, Gymnastics, Karate, Piano, and Kumon continue. Winter Swim Team practice begins. Attend Barrington Clown Around. Katie is photographed at one of the carnival games and appears on the front page of the Arlington Paper. Kids win two fish. Peter Pan & Ariel die a few days later. Paul is parent helper for the 2nd Grade trip to the pumpkin patch on the 6th. Both kids go to the dentist. No cavities! Attend the Tremont Fall Festival on the 16th and the Fall Fest at Fancyburg Park on the 17th. We walk through the Haunted Forest on the 21st and set up the Haunted House in our yard on the 23rd. We attend the Karate Halloween Party, go tot Boo at the Zoo on the 24th, attend the First Communion Parents Meeting on the 25th, trick or treat on the 28th (Jack is a vampire & Katie is Eeyore, and attend Boo at the Zoo one last time on the 31st. Tired again!
* November -- Katie quits Ballet (she wants to swim instead). Piano, Kumon, Karate, Swim Team, Gymnastics & PSR Classes continue. Kids get flu shots. Parent teacher Conferences (Katie will not talk in school...very social with other children...very sweet but shy. Jack is extremely smart. Tested out of 2nd grade spelling and math...going to have him tested for gifted now...can't believe how advanced he is.) LOVE Ms. Ruf! Take our 4th trip to Disney World from November 13-November 18th(have an annual pass this year) and stay at the Animal Kingdom with the Fetherolfs & Cousin Mary Ann. Have a great time. Night goggles, Woody & Jessie and anything Toy Story were a hit. Wrote letters to Santa and mailed them in Santa's mailbox. Thanksgiving at home with immediate family...then a visit with Paul's parents. Petpromise meets with Maverick Builders to discuss the design/construction of the future PetPromise Adoption Center.
* December -- Katie turns 4 (OMG!!!) Host Katie's "Under the Sea" Birthday Party at our home. Ariel really does show up. Huge hit! Decorate the house and tree for Christmas the week of December 6th. Swim Team Practice & weekend meets continue as does Piano, Kumon, Gymnastics & Karate. Visit with Santa at Christmas in the Park. Santa knows all about the kids and their pets and what they do in their free time. Jack starts private swim lessons...his times start to improve. IAT Meeting with school Principal, Ms. Ruf, Gifted Program Directors, and Mrs. Murphy (3rd Grade teacher) on the 16th. All are amazed at Jack's gifted testing results. He tested above 99.9% of all children his age across the country. Haven't had a child test this high before. Moving him into 3rd Grade for math...with a plan to do 4&5th grade math through gifted program next year...and start Middle School math when he is in 4th grade. Already doing 3rd Grade spelling and reading at adult level. WOW! Helped with 2nd Grade Christmas Party on the 17th. Hosted a Boy's Pizza & Polar Express Party for the boys in Jack's class on the 17th. Twenty 7-8 year old boys over...craziness, popcorn and toys everywhere, craziness, sleeping bags, craziness, 6 boys spend the night. Priceless. Host the annual birthday/holiday party for the Carson side of the family on the 18th. Hosted a Little Girls' Pizza & Polar Express Party on the 19th. Four 3-5 year old girls (and one big brother) attend. Giggling, giggling, giggling...all girls head home by 8:30pm SWEET. To Cleveland to visit Great Grandma, Aunt Paula, Debbie & Derek. Grandma's Alzheimer's is apparent. She seemed glad to see us all. Attend Midnight mass at 10pm on Christmas Eve. Said goodbye to Elvis the Elf on the Shelf. Wake up to an overload of presents from Santa including new bikes, a doll house, Shleich castle set, rock tumbler, Ariel vanity...too much to mention. Christmas dinner at home. Visit to Grandma & Grandpa Carson's on Christmas Day. Cozy New Year Celebration at home with the immediate family. Everyone stays awake to ring in 2011!
*January -- There was swim team practice four times a week, ballet classes, piano lessons & Kumon. Got Mom a remote start installed in her car for her birthday, Katie's 3 year check up (36 1/2" tall 28lbs), was a reading helper for the First Grade Class on the 26th, and hosted a Pirate Party for Jack's 7th birthday (the whole First Grade Class attended) and the "pirate" never showed up.
* February -- Parent-Teacher Conference with the First Grade Teacher who said she wouldn't have known that Jack was gifted but for the test results she had seen (UGH!). We start looking into catholic schools for the 2010/2011 school year. Went to Disney World with Paul's parents--wet & cold most of the trip but had a great time. Continued swim team practices, ballet, Kumon & piano lessons, Paul worked the swim meet on February 20th. Jack had his 7 year check up (501/2" tall and weighed 59lbs). The kids attended birthday parties for Andrew, Trent & Gayatre.
* March -- Swim team ends for the season, ballet, piano lessons, and Kumon continue. Jack leads the pledge of allegiance over the school announcements on the 8th. We visit St. Andrews' School, Jack has multiple dentist appointments to correct dental issues that were not discovered by his first dentist. I turn 46. Surprised the kids (didn't tell them until we picked them up from school with the suitcases in the car) and drove to Disney World for 4 days over Easter weekend on the spur of the moment. (One of the most memorable trips ever...for everyone.)
* April -- More dental work for Jack (poor kid). More birthday parties for friends (Carson Dunagan, Jack Learner, Hayden Garrett.) Attended Amanda & Gil's Wedding Reception (they went to Vegas and got married on the 17th) Visit St Agatha School. Katie starts Gymnastics. Baseball begins—Jack plays, Paul coaches. Took Grandma to the Maple Festival (signs of Alzheimer's becoming apparent.) We begin regular twice a month board meetings for PetPromise.
* May -- Golf classes for Jack begin, Baseball continues as does Ballet, Gymnastics, Kumon & Piano lessons. PSR (Public School Religion) Classes conclude for the 2009/2010 school year. Decide that parochial schools will not offer the academic challenge that Jack will need. Decide to stay in the Upper Arlington School system and pray that the next year will be better. Attended a Mother's Day Tea with Jack's First Grade Class where he announces that the funniest thing about me is that I stay up all night on the computer and that I watch "What Not To Wear" all of the time. Attend the Montessori Spring Fest on the 15th where Katie wins a raffle and Jack does not (Jack is crushed— Katie shares her basket.) I am a Reading Helper for the First Grade Class on the 18th. We join the Swim & Racquet Club. Jack starts summer swim team practice. We attend Katie's first Montessori School End-of-Year Picnic concluding her first year of preschool. I appear on WSYX with Precious, Princess, & Angel to plug the PetPromise Rescue Run. The 10th Annual PetPromise Rescue Run goes without a hitch on the 29th and we raise over $44,000 for homeless pets. Katie participates in her first Ballet recital on May 30th. (So sweet!) Whew...the Carson's were tired after the month of May!
* June -- Katie attends a Princess camp June 1-4th. Baseball, Swim Team, Gymnastics, Ballet, Kumon & Piano continue. Jack starts Dive Team and Katie participates in a Toddler's Golf Camp and starts swim lessons at Swim & Racquet. The first screening of Eroded takes place on the 5th and we see Jack on the big screen for the first time. WOW! First Grade is officially over for Jack on the 9th. Katie attends Gigi's & Sophia's birthday parties. Jack participates in Lacrosse Camp from June 14-16th and Jack & Katie start Tennis lessons at Swim & Racquet on June 21st. We attend lots of swim and dive meets throughout the month and spend lots of time at Swim & Racquet for lessons or practice. We attend Jack & Katie's piano recital on June 26th. (Katie's first recital). Jack plays "In My Red Convertible" and Katie plays "Hot Crossed Buns."
*July -- Swim Team and Dive team practices, Swim Lessons, Tennis Lessons, Kumon (for Jack), Piano Lessons, Ballet (for Katie), Gymnastics (for Katie) and Kumon (for Jack continue). Lots of time spent at swim meets and dive meets at local pools. Jack is back at the dentist and starts Golf Camp on July 12th. We refinance the house on July 13th (for a rate of 5 1/4% on a Jumbo Loan). We go to Disney World from July 23rd through July 31st with Jana & her family. Stayed at the Boardwalk—Club level...really nice! Unusually Hot in Florida this trip.
* August -- Celebrated Paul's 58th Birthday on August 5th. Swim & Dive Team over....Tennis Lessons finished. Continue Kumon, Ballet, Piano, & Gymnastics. Have the kids' annual portraits taken at Celebrity Kids. (They are beautiful). School supply sale & school pictures on the 20th (that is insane—it is still summer!) Jack meets his 2nd Grade teacher, Ms. Ruf –Room 112 on August 23rd (love her!) School starts August 24th. Welcome to Second Grade, Jack.
* September -- Katie starts her second year of preschool at Montessori Children's House (seems happier this year). I attend parent Information night with Ms. Ruf...it's going to be a good year! Gymnastics, Piano, Kumon & Ballet continue. Jack starts Karate. PSR classes begin. Jack prepares for First Communion this year. Settling into the 2010/2011 school year.
*October -- Ballet, Gymnastics, Karate, Piano, and Kumon continue. Winter Swim Team practice begins. Attend Barrington Clown Around. Katie is photographed at one of the carnival games and appears on the front page of the Arlington Paper. Kids win two fish. Peter Pan & Ariel die a few days later. Paul is parent helper for the 2nd Grade trip to the pumpkin patch on the 6th. Both kids go to the dentist. No cavities! Attend the Tremont Fall Festival on the 16th and the Fall Fest at Fancyburg Park on the 17th. We walk through the Haunted Forest on the 21st and set up the Haunted House in our yard on the 23rd. We attend the Karate Halloween Party, go tot Boo at the Zoo on the 24th, attend the First Communion Parents Meeting on the 25th, trick or treat on the 28th (Jack is a vampire & Katie is Eeyore, and attend Boo at the Zoo one last time on the 31st. Tired again!
* November -- Katie quits Ballet (she wants to swim instead). Piano, Kumon, Karate, Swim Team, Gymnastics & PSR Classes continue. Kids get flu shots. Parent teacher Conferences (Katie will not talk in school...very social with other children...very sweet but shy. Jack is extremely smart. Tested out of 2nd grade spelling and math...going to have him tested for gifted now...can't believe how advanced he is.) LOVE Ms. Ruf! Take our 4th trip to Disney World from November 13-November 18th(have an annual pass this year) and stay at the Animal Kingdom with the Fetherolfs & Cousin Mary Ann. Have a great time. Night goggles, Woody & Jessie and anything Toy Story were a hit. Wrote letters to Santa and mailed them in Santa's mailbox. Thanksgiving at home with immediate family...then a visit with Paul's parents. Petpromise meets with Maverick Builders to discuss the design/construction of the future PetPromise Adoption Center.
* December -- Katie turns 4 (OMG!!!) Host Katie's "Under the Sea" Birthday Party at our home. Ariel really does show up. Huge hit! Decorate the house and tree for Christmas the week of December 6th. Swim Team Practice & weekend meets continue as does Piano, Kumon, Gymnastics & Karate. Visit with Santa at Christmas in the Park. Santa knows all about the kids and their pets and what they do in their free time. Jack starts private swim lessons...his times start to improve. IAT Meeting with school Principal, Ms. Ruf, Gifted Program Directors, and Mrs. Murphy (3rd Grade teacher) on the 16th. All are amazed at Jack's gifted testing results. He tested above 99.9% of all children his age across the country. Haven't had a child test this high before. Moving him into 3rd Grade for math...with a plan to do 4&5th grade math through gifted program next year...and start Middle School math when he is in 4th grade. Already doing 3rd Grade spelling and reading at adult level. WOW! Helped with 2nd Grade Christmas Party on the 17th. Hosted a Boy's Pizza & Polar Express Party for the boys in Jack's class on the 17th. Twenty 7-8 year old boys over...craziness, popcorn and toys everywhere, craziness, sleeping bags, craziness, 6 boys spend the night. Priceless. Host the annual birthday/holiday party for the Carson side of the family on the 18th. Hosted a Little Girls' Pizza & Polar Express Party on the 19th. Four 3-5 year old girls (and one big brother) attend. Giggling, giggling, giggling...all girls head home by 8:30pm SWEET. To Cleveland to visit Great Grandma, Aunt Paula, Debbie & Derek. Grandma's Alzheimer's is apparent. She seemed glad to see us all. Attend Midnight mass at 10pm on Christmas Eve. Said goodbye to Elvis the Elf on the Shelf. Wake up to an overload of presents from Santa including new bikes, a doll house, Shleich castle set, rock tumbler, Ariel vanity...too much to mention. Christmas dinner at home. Visit to Grandma & Grandpa Carson's on Christmas Day. Cozy New Year Celebration at home with the immediate family. Everyone stays awake to ring in 2011!
Monday, January 11, 2010
My Baby Girl is Three Years Old
I don't know where the time has gone. My baby girl...who was just born...a sweet little bruised face, blonde haired, beautiful, wonderful, baby girl turned three years old on December 2nd. How did this happen? She is a tiny little person...and growing up so fast...I feel like I am letting these beautiful lovely days slip through my fingers. I try to cherish every second that I have with my most precious gifts....but sometimes I get so caught up in trying to get everything done...and living my life, that I don't stop to really appreciate or document the sweet and special moments that take place.
I realize that I am going to be so mad that I didn't journal more...but I am just enjoying both of my beautiful children so much that I don't take the time to write about them the way I once did. But there are certain things that should be documented.....so I will try to capture some of those things here.
Katie started pre-school this fall...just three hours a day three days a week. She was so scared. For such a social little girl....she did not adjust to being in a structured seeting with other children very well at first. (This is a Montessori School so she was the only 2 1/2 year old in a class with kids up to 6 years old so I understand how it could be intimidating.) She would cry and say "please don't leave me there, Mommy" in the mornings before we would leave...then she would stand in a corner by herself for the full 3 hours. I felt sick about it....I felt horrible for doing this to a little baby girl of only 2. Jack started at 3 1/2...and he just loved it from day one...not so with Katie. I knew it would be good for her and would help her in the future (she had been spending her days home with Daddy...much of the time watching television.) Baby girl, I hoep that you understand why Mommy took you there day after day when you begged me not to.
It has been a long road...but she has adjusted now. She is still much more shy and quiet than Jack ever was. She is very social and loves the other littel girls in her class. She does not care for the boys...and actually says she doesn't like them...which is surprising as she adores Jack. But she definitely knows that she is a girl and identifies with them.
She is so tiny (she was 50% in height and 25% in weight...which is small when compared to Jack who was always in the 97% percentile or above). She is built like a very tiny person....she doesn't really look like a 3 year old...more like a very teeny tiny 5 year old. It is cute. She is just adorable because she is so petite looking. She can still fit into some of her 3-6 month old skirts...and I buy her nothing over 24 months. The pants are too short....but if I buy a 3T...they are HUGE on her.
Katie is very smart and loves everyone. Although she has no desire to learn letters or numbers...she is adept at watching people do things in order to learn. She teaches herself all of the practical things in life (in a way that Jack never did). She was putting on her own shoes and buckling herself into her own carseat at 2. She carries a stool around with her everywhere in order to do things herself. She si determined and her vocabulary is fantastic. Her teachers say she speaks like an adult and is extermely mature. There is nothing babyish about her. She is always thinking, looking at things and considering them, figuring out how to do something or how to achieve the end result she wants. She is smart ina way that is not measurable. I know she will achieve great things. I just know it. She is always thinking.
She loves candy and sweets and is not a great eater of other things. She loves "noodlies" and french fries...and candy. Did I say she loves candy? Every little purse that she has (she loves purses...carries them everywhere) has little stashes of hard butterscotch candy or any other candy she can find. Jack would take months to each 1/2 of his Halloween candy...and we would end up throwing most of it away. not Katie. She has littel stashes of wrappers from candy that she has eaten...and little stashes of candy for future eating sprees all over the house. I opened Jack's toybox once and found a Mystry Machine full of little candies and knew that Katie had been at work!
Katie is in ballet class and is doing really wel. She is the youngest in her class...and is naturally good. Katie is naturally athletic...and is graceful and able to do most things that require any sort of physical dextarity. She often is heard shortening my name to "Mom" in a teenager sort of way....but Mommmmm...it is so funny...Jack never did that. She adores her brother and alwasy takes two of everything to be sure that Jack gets one too. She LOVES animals...and even though we have a lot of animals...you can always find her holding or petting one. She doesn't seem to get tired of them...adn they alwasy bring a smile to her face. Katie si the one that can reconize when you are upset or feelign sad before you decide to share those feeligns with the rest of the world. At three she is a great judge of emotions and is truely emptheic....if a three year odl ahs that capacity. It surprises me sometimes. I will get angry at her...and be waiting for some emotion from her and she will show none. Then I will see her out of the corner of my eye turned the otehr way and crying to herself. She is my strong and loving girl.
She reminds me so much of myself. I hope that she doesn't feel that she has to be strong for everyone else. I love her so much. My stomach does little flips when I think about her because she makes me feel so happy. I wish I was holding her right this minute....my baby girl. She is my heart she is my love.
I realize that I am going to be so mad that I didn't journal more...but I am just enjoying both of my beautiful children so much that I don't take the time to write about them the way I once did. But there are certain things that should be documented.....so I will try to capture some of those things here.
Katie started pre-school this fall...just three hours a day three days a week. She was so scared. For such a social little girl....she did not adjust to being in a structured seeting with other children very well at first. (This is a Montessori School so she was the only 2 1/2 year old in a class with kids up to 6 years old so I understand how it could be intimidating.) She would cry and say "please don't leave me there, Mommy" in the mornings before we would leave...then she would stand in a corner by herself for the full 3 hours. I felt sick about it....I felt horrible for doing this to a little baby girl of only 2. Jack started at 3 1/2...and he just loved it from day one...not so with Katie. I knew it would be good for her and would help her in the future (she had been spending her days home with Daddy...much of the time watching television.) Baby girl, I hoep that you understand why Mommy took you there day after day when you begged me not to.
It has been a long road...but she has adjusted now. She is still much more shy and quiet than Jack ever was. She is very social and loves the other littel girls in her class. She does not care for the boys...and actually says she doesn't like them...which is surprising as she adores Jack. But she definitely knows that she is a girl and identifies with them.
She is so tiny (she was 50% in height and 25% in weight...which is small when compared to Jack who was always in the 97% percentile or above). She is built like a very tiny person....she doesn't really look like a 3 year old...more like a very teeny tiny 5 year old. It is cute. She is just adorable because she is so petite looking. She can still fit into some of her 3-6 month old skirts...and I buy her nothing over 24 months. The pants are too short....but if I buy a 3T...they are HUGE on her.
Katie is very smart and loves everyone. Although she has no desire to learn letters or numbers...she is adept at watching people do things in order to learn. She teaches herself all of the practical things in life (in a way that Jack never did). She was putting on her own shoes and buckling herself into her own carseat at 2. She carries a stool around with her everywhere in order to do things herself. She si determined and her vocabulary is fantastic. Her teachers say she speaks like an adult and is extermely mature. There is nothing babyish about her. She is always thinking, looking at things and considering them, figuring out how to do something or how to achieve the end result she wants. She is smart ina way that is not measurable. I know she will achieve great things. I just know it. She is always thinking.
She loves candy and sweets and is not a great eater of other things. She loves "noodlies" and french fries...and candy. Did I say she loves candy? Every little purse that she has (she loves purses...carries them everywhere) has little stashes of hard butterscotch candy or any other candy she can find. Jack would take months to each 1/2 of his Halloween candy...and we would end up throwing most of it away. not Katie. She has littel stashes of wrappers from candy that she has eaten...and little stashes of candy for future eating sprees all over the house. I opened Jack's toybox once and found a Mystry Machine full of little candies and knew that Katie had been at work!
Katie is in ballet class and is doing really wel. She is the youngest in her class...and is naturally good. Katie is naturally athletic...and is graceful and able to do most things that require any sort of physical dextarity. She often is heard shortening my name to "Mom" in a teenager sort of way....but Mommmmm...it is so funny...Jack never did that. She adores her brother and alwasy takes two of everything to be sure that Jack gets one too. She LOVES animals...and even though we have a lot of animals...you can always find her holding or petting one. She doesn't seem to get tired of them...adn they alwasy bring a smile to her face. Katie si the one that can reconize when you are upset or feelign sad before you decide to share those feeligns with the rest of the world. At three she is a great judge of emotions and is truely emptheic....if a three year odl ahs that capacity. It surprises me sometimes. I will get angry at her...and be waiting for some emotion from her and she will show none. Then I will see her out of the corner of my eye turned the otehr way and crying to herself. She is my strong and loving girl.
She reminds me so much of myself. I hope that she doesn't feel that she has to be strong for everyone else. I love her so much. My stomach does little flips when I think about her because she makes me feel so happy. I wish I was holding her right this minute....my baby girl. She is my heart she is my love.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Jack Lost His First Tooth!
My baby boy is 6 1/2 years old. His bottom teeth got wiggly...but did not come out....I was glad...as long as he had all of his baby teeth...he wasn't getting too big...he wasn't that grown up yet. Then his adult teeth started to grow in behind those little baby teeth on the bottom. The dentist said they may need to come out....but not right now. *sigh* Finally, after months....one of the bottom teeth became very wiggly. I couldn't believe it.
This was the very tooth (on the lower left) that I can remember as if it was yesterday finding in his mouth. He was just 3 1/2 months old and I was cleaning his little gums with a cloth...when I saw that little tell-tail grain of white coming through his gums. This very tooth that now was wiggly...the little tooth that made him seem so much more like a baby than a gummy infant was now going to usher in a new stage of maturity.
On October 19, 2009, my little boy sat in my lap and we wiggled and wiggled that precious tooth. And finally, Daddy got the plyers so he could get a better grip on the tooth and he pulled it right out of my baby's mouth. There it is was in my hand. The very little tooth that I discovered over 6 years ago in my baby's mouth. I held that tiny little tooth in my hand and cried. I held my little boy....my baby and we cried together. I am so lucky to be blessed with the sweetest boy in the whole world....and I am so thankful for that. I held that little tooth in my hand....and felt the greatness of the love that I feel for my children.
I love you John Paul Butler Carson....now and always. And every time I look at that tiny little tooth I will think of that day that I first saw it...and of this day in October...when I held you and felt overwhelmed with love for you, my sweet boy.
Love,
Mommy
This was the very tooth (on the lower left) that I can remember as if it was yesterday finding in his mouth. He was just 3 1/2 months old and I was cleaning his little gums with a cloth...when I saw that little tell-tail grain of white coming through his gums. This very tooth that now was wiggly...the little tooth that made him seem so much more like a baby than a gummy infant was now going to usher in a new stage of maturity.
On October 19, 2009, my little boy sat in my lap and we wiggled and wiggled that precious tooth. And finally, Daddy got the plyers so he could get a better grip on the tooth and he pulled it right out of my baby's mouth. There it is was in my hand. The very little tooth that I discovered over 6 years ago in my baby's mouth. I held that tiny little tooth in my hand and cried. I held my little boy....my baby and we cried together. I am so lucky to be blessed with the sweetest boy in the whole world....and I am so thankful for that. I held that little tooth in my hand....and felt the greatness of the love that I feel for my children.
I love you John Paul Butler Carson....now and always. And every time I look at that tiny little tooth I will think of that day that I first saw it...and of this day in October...when I held you and felt overwhelmed with love for you, my sweet boy.
Love,
Mommy
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