New Year's Eve--36w1d--Big Boy!

The close of 2002 is here....on to 2003. This is our last year as a couple...next year...probably next month...we will be a family of three!!! I can't believe, even to this day, that we are having a baby. It has been a long struggle, it is hard to believe that our dream is coming true! Hello 2003, Hello Jack...Hello!!! We had our 36 week appointment today. The internal exam showed no dilation (of course)..but he said things were progressing as expected. We gave Dr. Samuels our Birth Plan and he was fairly receptive to it. I am not sure whether I want to go through all of the trouble of trying to switch to a midwife at this point in our pregnancy. Last week I would have said yes....today...no. Dr. Samuels was okay at today's appointment. I don't know! Our ultrasound showed that Jack weighs @ 6lbs 13 oz (almost 7 lbs with 4 weeks to go!!!) Also it showed that his head measures 39 weeks!!! Yikes!!! and his feet measured 38 weeks (the tech said that means he will be tall!) During the ultrasound we saw Jack opening and closing his mouth very clearly like he was sucking on something...how cute! We got some cute pictures of his face...and one that Paul thinks looks just like him when he is sleeping!!! I hope Jack looks like Paul. I can't wait to meet the little guy. Happy New Year!!! Welcome 2003!!! Welcome Jack!!! ~35 Weeks 3 Days~

34w2d....Getting Closer...Getting Scared....

We had our doctor's appointment yesterday. He said I was measuring 35 weeks (so about a week ahead). He said that Jack is vertex (with his head down) YAY!!! My next appointment is scheduled for December 31st at which time we will get an ultrasound to see how big Jack is before I deliver. Then we go every week after that!!! I cried on the way home from the doctor's appointment. Our doctor is kind of an idiot (even though he is supposed to be a high risk doctor). Okay...he is a BIG idiot. All that he wants to do is joke and talk about things unrelated to the baby or this pregnancy. He talks about his computer, his travels, my job, Paul's interviews, etc. He also is always joking and talks so fast we can barely get a word in when we have a question. It is really upsetting!!! I am sooo hoping that he is not the doctor that delivers Jack...as I really do not like him at all. I think another reason for crying on the way home from our appointment is because I am scared about having a baby. Not about the actual birth, but more about the way that it will change our lives. I guess the loss of the person I am or was, and the couple that Paul and I are together is what is scaring me. I have been having a lot of anxiety dreams at night and I cannot sleep because of them. They never involve this pregnancy or Jack (they are always anxiety about a sick animal, or something at work, or something that I have to do) but I know they are an expression of anxiety about becoming a "mother." I know that having Jack is what we have waited so long for...but it is still scary...and sad to be saying goodbye forever to that part of our lives when it was just us. It is so final....and now the end is in sight and it is scary...

33w0d Feeling *Different*

Over the last seven days, I have really GROWN!!! It seems that my stomach is sticking out so much farther than before...but I don't think I have gained more than a pound since my last doctor's visit at 30 weeks. I am also feeling a lot less comfortable. It feels like the sides of my stomach are stretching out....and it only feels better when I push the sides in a bit. I can't breath very well and am getting tired from the merest activity. I so want to continue walking, but the weather has gotten so cold...and I just don't know if I could still walk the 2-3 miles that I was walking. I just don't feel "peppy" like I did earlier in this pregnancy. I hope this is normal. I can certainly deal with it for little Jack...but things are definitely feeling *different* lately. On a happier note, I had my shower last weekend. We were blessed with so much for this little boy!!! We received our stroller and car seat combo, our bedding set and the mobile (all from my Mom), a Pack N Play, lots of cloths, bedding, a rocking chair for the baby, a rocking horse, safety kits, stuffed animals, blankets, little snow suits, a John Lennon Play Gym, crib lights, socks, bottles, two bouncy seats, more than I can even remember!!! WOW!!! It was amazing. My two friends, the hosts, really outdid themselves with baked Brie, wine, assorted soft drinks, vegetable platters, a lovely chocolate raspberry cake, Parmesan pull-apart bread, a variety of cheeses and dips, crackers, spinach dip and pumpernickel bread, deviled eggs....I couldn't stop eating! Then they had a lovely flower arrangement (that I got to take home) and they passed out beautiful favors to each of the 22 guests: little rhinestone edged frames with small versions of classic children's book pages inside (i.e., The Runaway Bunny, Pooh, Beatrice Potter, etc.) The guests just LOVED them! (I was lucky to get one for myself). I couldn't have planned a better shower! I am so lucky!!! ~Thirty Three Weeks~