39 Weeks 3 Days...

I had another Peri appointment today. Nothing is really happening. Mary Katherine is due in four days (this Saturday). I am scheduled to be induced on December 7th if she hasn't arrived by then....so we will have baby Mary in 9 days....YIKES!

In the meantime, we continue to work on getting the house in order and remodeled. Everywhere I look there is something that need to be done. Doors needed, all of the old part of the house needs to be painted, missing trim around windows and floors, light switches, bathrooms need fixtures, new floors, etc. It is overwhelming. We don't have the time or the money to do even half of what needs to be done. But I must say.....the house is looking better all of the time! It is looking like a real home.

We are almost ready for the baby....co-sleeper set up, car seats out. Jack is so ready. I hope he loves her....I hope this is the right thing for him. I know it is....but I worry about how having a sibling will affect him and the amount of attention we will be able to give him. I just love him so much....I can't imagine ever doing anything that would harm him in anyway. I have been watching him while he sleeps and cherishing the sweetness of my only baby....I love him as much as a Mother can love. Soon there will be two....so I am cherishing these moments with just my beautiful baby boy.

What I Wouldn't Have Known If Not For You, Jack.

What I wouldn't Have Known if Not for Jack

I wouldn't know the power of the hug from such tiny little arms.

I wouldn't know what it was like to get sticky or slimy or chocolate-covered kisses...and actually love them.

I wouldn't be able to laugh at situations which would have been embarrassing to me before I had you.

I wouldn't know about trains, dinosaurs, sharks, cars, and all other sorts of little boy things.

I wouldn't have a reason to try harder.

I wouldn't know the value of reading a five minute story.

I wouldn't believe in fairy-tales.

I couldn't laugh at the silliest things at inopportune times.

I wouldn't know how a little turned up nose could make me feel so happy inside.

I wouldn't see the worth of a single happy- meal toy.

I wouldn't be able to sit through kid movies..let alone actually enjoy them.

I wouldn't feel like my heart had a home.

I wouldn't know how easily I could cry...good tears!

I wouldn't know the value of a convenient public rest-room (or about conversations that take place while begging you NOT touch a single thing while you are making inquiries about the metal box hanging next to the potty.)

I wouldn't know what it was like to be truly proud.

I wouldn't know what it was like to hear the alphabet over and over again...with the addition of m&m, o, p. And, in all honesty, if someone asked me what letter is before "o", I would undoubtedly say M&M.

I wouldn't know what it was like to worry so much...about every little thing.

I wouldn't appreciate gummy bears and cotton candy...my eyes would not light up at the sight of a caramel apple.

I wouldn't want to jump in leaves or puddles.

I wouldn't know what it was like to never want to miss a thing.

I wouldn't know what it was like to actually want to go to the pumpkin patch, and the ghost trolley, and Boo at the Zoo, and the Haunted Castle.... and then top actually want to do it all over again.

I wouldn't really know the power of prayer.

I wouldn't know the names of all the "Thomas" trains.

I wouldn't understand baby talk.

I wouldn't have a reason to get up in the morning and do it all over again.

I wouldn't know how much I love the words "Mommy" and "I love you."

I wouldn't know the sound of the sweetest little voice saying "Oooooh, Mama" when you see Christmas lights at night.

I wouldn't know the feeling of having you hug my thigh....and wishing you would never let go.

I wouldn't be able to talk like a pirate or a Cinderella or a car.

I wouldn't know the anticipation of "treat day."

Christmas would not be Christmas.

I wouldn't see the wonder of your face when you see Santa or a Disney Character in person.

I wouldn't have to constantly worry about the whereabouts of the beloved "Blue."

I wouldn't appreciate the fun of buying little light-up tennis shoes, or corduroy blazers, or 5T Slim Levis.

The zoo would not be nearly as much fun.

I wouldn't know what it was like to have to think like a little boy.

I wouldn't know how cute a little bottom could be when sticking out from under a t-shirt.

I wouldn't care so much about rainbows, snow, falling leaves, or ocean waters.

I wouldn't know glee..pure glee..just because.

I wouldn't be able to give so much of myself and not care about ever receiving a "thank you."

I wouldn't know the joy of seeing a child do something for the very first time.

I wouldn't think that in some way, I could change the future, by raising you.

I wouldn't know every word to all of the "Jack songs."

I wouldn't know what it was like to get the biggest kiss in the world from a little mouth opened wide.

I wouldn't have known how little I would care about not coming first...or second...or third.

I wouldn't see little pieces of myself in another generation.

I wouldn't know how good it feels to hold a small hand or to smell your little head of hair.

I wouldn't know how much I would love to hear you call me "Mama."

I would have never known how warm it would make me feel inside to see your smile and face light up when I am the one to pick you up from pre-school.

I wouldn't love amusement parks, swimming pools, parks, or playgrounds nearly as much.

I wouldn't know that "because" could really be the answer to a question.

I wouldn't know what it was like to look at you and know that how well I do my job will affect your life forever.

I wouldn't know what it was like to watch you sleep and to feel so filled with love and to actually look forward to you waking up.

I wouldn't really...really...know true love.

For all that I've learned...for how much I've loved...I could never thank my baby boy enough. He has given me a life a would have never known. Thank you my baby angel....

35 Weeks 5 Days

Where has the time gone? I feel so bad for little Katie (it is till hard to call her that as I have gotten into the habit of calling her Mary Katherine) as I have done very little journaling of this pregnancy. We have been so busy trying to sell our old house, while maintaining it, and apartment, as well as remodel and work on the addition of our new house....that things have gotten out of control and very little attention has been paid to this pregnancy.

It makes me feel so sad as I look down and see the poor little thing kicking around in my belly trying to let us know she is here...and she is not getting the attention that we paid to her brother. This is my last pregnancy and I should be savoring every minute and I WISH that I could. There is just so much happening right now that I don't have a minute to enjoy her or this pregnancy.

The good news is that we are living in the new house now...but because construction of the new addition requires, we have no kitchen (we have been living on frozen dinners) without a sink. We are using one small bathroom and there is plastic up over most of the doorways. It is very uncomfortable. The cats are in cages out in the enclosed porch...and things are covered with dust everywhere due to the drywall being installed. We sell our old house next week...and we move the rest of our furniture from that house as well as my Mom into the new house on Tuesday....so it is a push to at least have the in-law suite/apt. painted and with floors , doors, bathroom, & kitchen before the move. Can I say stressful?

I have to pack up the entire house for the move (while Paul works frantically on getting the house ready for all of us.) I am wearing down and now I have been notified that I may be required to put in long days and nights at work to negotiate a deal prior to Thanksgiving. UGH!!!

Little Katie...through all of this, we love you (and of course your brother Jack who has been so good through all of this stress!) I just want you to know that it isn't because we don't love you that I haven't been more diligent in journaling...we are just trying to get things ready for you! (And your sweet darling brother cannot wait for you to be born. He asks if it is getting close to when his baby sister will be here. He is so excited.)

Baby boy and Baby girl we love you both so much!