Oh my gosh....where has the time gone? Katie had just turned one year old the last time I wrote in this journal....so much has happened since then...she has grown up so much. Jack has grown up so much too. I guess it scares me to see the time slipping away...and both of my babies growing up so quickly....I don't want to write about it....because I don't want to recognize the fact that my babies are growing up and that this is an end of an era. My last baby is 18 months old...I will never have another infant...never have a fat chubby baby of my own. Even my first baby is has become so grown up and tall and thin....I can barely remember him as a chubby toddler anymore. I am crying as I write this as I am overwhelmed with sadness and I cannot get over it.
Every day I look that my children and I am so thankful....but inside I am sad. I don't know if that is normal or not...but my heart aches because I feel so blessed to have these children and I love them so much that I am overwhelmed with sadness because I knwo that each day they grow away from me a little more.
I guess I didn't feel this way after Jack was born because even though I didn't know if we would have another baby....I always figured that that option was open...and I was able to enjoy every detail and stage of Jack's little life. Now, knowing that our family is complete...I have this overwhelming feeling of dispair...that my children are growing up and away and there is no slowing the train. It is a sickening feeling....and writing in this journal brings it all to the forefront of my thoughts.
This said, I want to record everything about my children as they grow so that I can hold on to these memories forever. At Mary katherine's 18 month Appointment she was 31" tall (55%) and weighed 21lbs.7 oz (15%) She is a thin petite little thing...so unlike her brother at this age. She has longish blonde hair with a strawberry tint. She ahs brown eyes....and everyone thtinks that she looks like me. Katie had only 8 teeth for soooo long...then on June 2nd (on her 18 month birthday) she got two of her molars and a few days later the other two molars pushed through. Then, just yesterday, I saw the tips of two of her eye teeth starting to poke through.....so she will have a full smile full fo teeth soon. She hardly looks like a baby anymore. Where did my tiny little bald girl go?
Katie is now talking a lot. It took ehr a while to get going....but now she will repeat just about anything that you ask her to. She says "tan u daddy" or "tan u Mommy" to thank us when we give her something. She LOVES....and I mean absolutely ADORES her brother!!!! He is the first one that she looks for in the morning...and the one that she really wants approval from. She immitates everything that he does and wants to do whatever he does! She just loves him....and in some ways this is causing her to grow up much faster than he did. She is certainly not as interested in letters, numbers and books as Jack was at this age. She calls all letters "D's" and will only sit still for a short time when you read to her. She is very very active and very coordinated also. In gymnastics class, the instructor said that at 18 motnhs Katie was doing things (like jumping on the trampoline with both feet) that children normally cannot do until they are 3 years old.
Katie is almost potty trained. She does not ahve accidents during the day with number one....but still hasn't gotten the hang of sleeping through the night without wetting her diaper (naps are fine) and cannot quite get the hang of getting to the potty for nubmer 2 all of the time.....but she is doing amazingly well for an 18 month old. She is a very picky eater...and really only likes certain foods (macaroni & cheese, green beans, dry cereal, watermelon, cookies, crackers, chips, candy, french fries....all of the good stuff!) She can be very demanding. She will demand that Paul or I come there by saying "Mommy!!!" and pointing to the floor,. She will demand to be held (all fo the time!) and lay on the floor screeming with tears running down her face until she is picked up. She would be happy to be held all fo the time. She barely takes one nap a day. She loves to nurse still....and is quite a little srapper. (She knows how to fight to get something....she has to as she has a big brother who grabs everything from her). We find that she is a bit more challenging than Jack was....she cries and screams more...and smacks and hits when she doesn't get her way 9which Jack never did). But she also is a bit more demonstrative in a loving way as well. Seh kisses everything and everyone...and will run up to you and just hug your legs for no reason. She is very gentle and loving with the animals (which Jack was not) and never handles them roughly or pulls their tails. She just loves animals of all kinds....and has since she was a little baby.
Katie is my Mary Mary quite contrary...she is my beautiful, petite little spitfire...full of a zest for life...lots of passion...and a little girl always on the go....I love her little heart....and wish that I could be giving her as much of myself as I was able to give Jack when he was a baby. I can't help but think that the poor little thing is floundering because she doesn't have all of the love and attention that her brother had as a baby. I love her so much that it brings tears to my eyes.....my baby girl...please know you are loved more than Mommy could ever ever tell you.
Jack also has grown up so much in the past 5 months. He is now 5. FIVE!!!! My little chubby boy is a tall skinny 5 year old. Oh my gosh. I can't believe this. My heart aches when I realize how this little peanut...the little person who made me a Mommy is now so grown up! He is reading everything. it is amazing. he can read chapter books, and can do problems that 1st and 2nd graders would be doing (when to use there versus their, etc.) He is my amazingly gifted boy. My big green eyed son. So much like me and so loved. He still finds it hard to focus on a task at times (is that a boy thing?)...but the little guy is my love....I can't imagine my world without him. Next year he will go to Kindergarten....I will be in tears.....it seems like he was just born.
I guess I just need to keep moving forward.....I love my children so much I sometimes feel like I just want everything to stop so that I can savor these minutes...these moments...becasue they are truely the happiest times of my life. Thank you, God, as always...for the most precious gifts I have ever received. My children. I love them more than they can ever know.
