Mary Katherine....today you are one month old and I am so in love with you. From your sweet little pouty lips to your little puckered eyebrows and dimpled chin....I don't ever want to forget every part of you as it is now....as my sweet baby daughter.
I could not have ever imagined how much I would love you. And now that you are here....I am so afraid of your growing too quickly....of missing something....of forgetting something that you did or how you look right now.
You are our last baby....our only little girl and for some reason time and memories seem to be slipping by so quickly. I am terrified that I am wasting this precious time with you my sweet little angel girl.
I want to remember how you cross your eyes sometimes....and how you smile at me (I don't believe the doctors when they say that babies don't social smile until 6+ weeks....because I see you look right into my eyes and smile!) I want to always hear your little sounds as you nurse, see your little hands clasp each other when you are hungry, feel the soft blond silky little head forever. I can't imagine not having you nestled next to me at night nursing...and cuddling and cooing. You are my last baby my sweetest little girl and I want to savor every second with you and every feeling and sight and sound of you. I just want to stop time right now and have you cuddled next to me as a soft warm infant forever. I so do not want to give you up sweet baby....my last....my girl.
On the other hand....I can't wait to see you grow and every day as you change a little I love you more. MY heart swells when I feel you in my arms and I can't wait to wake up and love you and be with you and see how you have grown and changed.
Your brother loves you so much. He has not the slightest bit of jealousy in his little body. He gives up things that mean so much to him for you, Mary Katherine. This morning, when I teased him and told him that we were going to give you up to another family, he was so upset and cried and said he didn't want any other sister....only you. He loves you so much....it is amazing for a three and a half year old.
Sweet girl, you are my love and looking down at you now lying in my arms, you are the most precious thing. I wish I had more time to enjoy my pregnancy with you and more time to savor ever second of your infancy.....but I hope that you will grow knowing that you are cherished and loved more than any child could ever be loved....and that if I could lock up and save every precious second of your lifetime to hold forever, I would be the happiest Mommy int he world.
I love you my sweet daughter....thank you for coming into our lives two months ago.
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